Day 40

Burt gets a visit from his favorite furry friends

Apologies to all for the lackluster performance of the blog of late, but as we have gone from two Brothers Stern to one, the schedule has been a bit grueling. West coast Stern will be assisting East coast Stern with more regularity as soon as East coast finds the time to brief him. West coast has found an apartment, started school and his better half begins her new job tomorrow. Knock ‘em dead Lisha.

Meanwhile, back in the Berkshires, Connie and David think they have determined the next step on the rehab train. Unfortunately, Medicare (and other insurance carriers) no longer allow the lengths of stay in acute rehab that they used to and so, on October 12^th Burt will have to move to a skilled nursing and rehab facility for the next part of the process. He will most likely be there for the next hundred days as he continues to work to relearn all of things we all take for granted. The US healthcare apparatus needs some work…what a shocker.

Burt has had an eventful week and his chroniclers have been remiss in posting but tonight there we have a deluge of new video and photos from the Burt-ville. Burt’s first sips of water went reasonably well. While Burt was less than thrilled with the prospect of water and yoghurt, he was hoping to be cleared for a turkey sandwich — he grudgingly accepted that you have to (re)start somewhere. His first sip resulted in a bit of coughing, but he recovered and was able to take a few more sips before declaring that he had had enough. He then moved on to the yoghurt (the prime rib flavor he had requested). After a few spoonfuls of that, he declared himself done for the day. While it was a major accomplishment, it wasn’t quite the triumphant return to solid food that he had hoped.

Apple juice

The next day, under the watchful eye of Carolyn his speech therapist, Burt tried again. His chin tucked, he took a sip and swallowed twice as he had been taught. The first sip again caused him a bit of trouble and a bit of coughing. After that he was able to drink a bit more and move on to some apple juice. With the yoghurt, this time regular peach flavor, he was told to imagine he was swallowing a golf ball — just the kind of sustenance a guy who hasn’t eaten six weeks dreams about. The Titleist 2 is best lightly sautéed on a bed of field greens and garnished with lemon.

Smile

Later that night, Burt and David snuck in another few sips of practice juice before Burt got into bed and they watched a bit of the Hangover. Burt and David discover the problem with movies in the hospital is that you only ever have a half hour between a feed tube changes, medications, or a vitals check. Keeping a sense of continuity in a movie is near impossible. After trying to watch the Hangover in two sittings, Burt gave up on it and instead decided on an episode of Cosmos. He will try the Hangover again another time.

Friday was a busy social day for Burt. Two of his oldest friends from childhood, Don and Fred drove down from Boston to spend the day with him. They stayed for the second set of Burt’s PT and OT and got to see him walk. Burt friend Ron also stopped by and the three of them watched Burt and lent their support as Pati put him through his paces. Both Don and Ron (forgive the alliteration), who had been to visit several weeks before were amazed by the progress Burt has made. Even though Burt can’t always see it, everyone else can.

Taking a break from therapy with Don, Ron and Fred (left to right)

They looked the same in junior high

After Burt’s session had ended, he spent some more time catching up with Don and Fred. Fred, joking with Burt about his progress said, “Pretty soon you’ll be able to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.” Burt looked over at him and replied dryly, “I’m not that advanced yet. You’re far more mobile than I am, you can bend over and kiss my ass.” About an hour later, after enough old war stories, good memories and embarrassing anecdotes for an afternoon, Don and Fred had to leave for the drive back to Boston. Burt was about to settle in for a bit of a nap when his friends Doug and Rhia stopped by to visit with him. Burt has known Doug since architecture school. They each have far too many opinions regarding the other. Though Burt would have like to spend another hour with them, he was totally exhausted and in desperate need of sleep. Doug, Rhia, he sends his apologies.

Burt and his dedicated team

Saturday saw Burt working with Pati and Randy again. After a visit with his friends Christian and Liz in the morning, Burt was rolled to the gym and worked on strength and balance building exercises. Afterward, he spent the afternoon catching up on a bit of sleep and then getting disgusted by the Yankees. David and Burt finished off the evening with a bit of the Odd Couple.

In other news, it was finally determined why Burt never seemed to call Connie. With David standing by, Burt tried to call Connie’s cell and the woman who picked up told him to stop calling or she’d call the police. Poor guy. Burt discovered that the number programmed into his phone by West coast was one crucial digit off. The problem was corrected and the two are back in contact, except now Connie is also contemplating calling the police.

Being on digit off seemed a theme for the week. Burt’s friends the Bob and Ann sent him a lovely email except they, like others before them, forgot the crucial digit on Burt’s email. When you leave off the 1, instead of getting Burt, you get Brett. A foul-mouthed ranting putz who seems to have nothing better to do it than write long scatological replies to any poor unsuspecting sap who unwittingly makes the error. If anyone feels like spamming the hell out this galactic schmuck you have our full support.

And so begins another week.